Seasons of Life

This last full moon - a blue moon - created some space and time for me to reflect on the cadence of life. Those of us with kids (or are in school ourselves) are feeling the changing over of a carefree summer to a studious fall. And even as we will continue to have warm weather in the bay area for another couple of months, the daylight hours are lessening and the evenings and early mornings are a bit chillier. Also, and I just can't help myself with this one - the season of the Pumpkin Spice Latte is back! Hate it or love it, it's definitely a lighthearted reminder of the changing of the seasons.

All to say, there are seasons for most things in life. Recently I've seen a meme circulating on Instagram, generally geared at artists but honestly applies to anyone: "Nothing in nature blooms year round." The idea being that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be productive and creative and busy ALL OF THE DAMN TIME and sometimes it's too much. Also, don't get my started on late stage capitalism. . . My point: let's all encourage ourselves and the people we love to rest when we need to and slow down when we need to. Yes the hustle is necessary sometimes, but it feels a whole lot better when you also allow yourself to rest.

On that note, I have been doing A LOT of events lately and realizing I've been remiss at updating the event calendar. I finally updated it with all of my confirmed events for the rest of the year. There will definitely be more added to the Tangleweeds roster in the coming weeks, so make sure to check back. And if you know of any events that might be a good fit for me and Tangleweeds, send me a message =). I always love hearing from you!

The Beauty of the Mundane

The holidays. Ugh the holidays. Yay the holidays. Meh the holidays.

The holidays are not sitting with any of us the same way this year, am I right? They’re certainly not sitting the same way with me. I’m not even sure I feel like decorating my house this year - and I derive a lot of joy from decorating my house. The verdict is still out on my final decision. I’ll make sure to share photos if I do come around to the holiday cheer side of things.

My focus this year is on surviving the holidays. The crap storm that there is to navigate is just too much for me to simultaneously try to be cheery and joyful about it all. Yes, I will feel joy on occasion, yes I’ll even smile some, but I’m not going out of my way to make sure I revel in the season, or to force the joy. Sometimes in life it’s more work to pretend everything is okay. And I would say that this holiday season might be one of those - where it’s more work to be happy and joyous and celebratory. Why not just grab a pint of your favorite Ben N Jerry’s and watch the most deliciously trashy television of your choosing on Thanksgiving night?

I don’t have to go into all of the things making this holiday season the crappiest. You all know. But personally, the hardest part of all of this is not having Jeff around to celebrate with. If I am 100% honest - and there are so many layers to losing Jeff - the holidays with Jeff were not the easiest. He kind of hated the holidays in a lot of ways. He was also his own worst enemy with the expectations though, and a lot of the stress around the holidays that he experienced he really created for himself. So while I’m not missing that part, I am simply missing his companionship. 

There was a lot of time allotment to navigate through the holidays. Jeff had two kids from his first marriage (and only marriage - Jeff and I never married. I always stumble over how to reference his marriage. His first marriage? His only marriage? His relationship before ours? Stupid language limitations.) So we were navigating time with Jeff’s family, time with my family, and figuring out when his ex-wife had the kids and when we would have the kids - and only then could we figure out when (and if) we would be able to see my family. It was exhausting and could zap a lot of the positivity out of things if we let it. We

But somehow, every year, we managed to squeeze in a holiday meal, just the two of us. Usually we’d cook something special, but not full on holiday smorgasbord. Depending on where we were living at the time, we might have a fire in the fireplace, there’d be Christmas music playing (always!), and we’d open up our presents to each other. It was simple and peaceful and often felt like a moment of calm amidst the holiday storm. 

It’s that evening together, just the two of us, that I miss the most. All of the rest of it, the stressing out about finances, and buying too many presents, and jigsawing a schedule together amongst three families and navigating Jeff’s depression that always got worse this time of the year - those things I do not miss. (Even as I am missing family this year - thank you pandemic - both Jeff’s family and my own. I’m just not missing the stress dance of making all of the family stuff happen - I hope that makes sense.)

I know, I know, I know - this is not a simple post. But feelings around losing your partner are not generally simple. And Jeff and I struggled quite a bit, especially the last few years of our relationship. This holiday season I’m going to revel in the simple - in the beauty of the mundane, I suppose. The changing of the seasons are beautiful. The sunrises and sunsets. Holiday smells, all of those warm spices. Eggnog in my coffee. And I’m going to write a Christmas card to Jeff, just like I would do every year. 

I wish, more than anything, that this year would teach us all to revel more in the beauty of the mundane. We waste a lot of energy reaching for more all of the time. And Jeff would really really appreciate this sentiment of slowing down. 

Immense Beauty Alongside Immense Pain

I just re-read my last blog post, from mid-April, and wow-wee am I struck by how much has changed since then. I’m also a little annoyed by my slightly Zen, imploring tone to focus on taking care of yourself through these times and going slow as you can. But I’ll elaborate on that in a bit. . . 

I wrote that blog post the day before Cash (the cat) showed up in my life. I wrote it a month and a half before Jeff died. I wrote it during a time when there was still hope I’d have holiday craft fairs to look forward to. Before money was starting to get tight. Before over 200,000 people had died. And before the BLM protests becoming omnipresent in the SF bay area and in other major urban cities. 

Where am I now? Where was I then? 

Something I tell my friends a lot these days when they ask how I’m doing: I’m okay with not being okay and within that I am okay. It’s an ouroboros of feelings. I am now so abundantly aware of how much I always clung to the idea that one day the shit would stop hitting the fan, bad things would stop happening to myself and my loved ones, and overall life would be like skipping down the yellow brick road. Eventually. And fuck if modern day society doesn’t implore us that if we just work hard enough and fast enough THIS WILL ALL ONE DAY BE TRUE.

That is so far from the truth it makes me cackle. I cackle a lot these days. I think of a cackle as being true laughter but one tinged by the darkness of real life. An edge to it, some added harshness. 

I almost want to stop and apologize for the tone of this blog post, but I know you don’t need me to. Wherever you are I am sure you are juggling your own array of challenges sprinkled through with moments of grace.

Because that’s the thing I’m realizing through these times - and by “these times” I do mean in part the pandemic, but I mostly mean the loss of my partner of 12 and a half years - is that immense beauty exists right alongside immense pain. I’m not always capable of seeing both at once, but some days are like a layer cake of feelings. One minute deep sorrow, one minute profound gratitude, the next a taste of joy almost so fleeting I wouldn’t see it if I wasn’t paying attention. This whole of life is begging us to pay attention. Pay attention and slow down (there I go again with imploring everyone to slow down - which I know how obnoxious that can sound when you’re juggling multiple jobs just to pay the bills). These two things are what’s gonna save the planet, if we’re honest with ourselves as a species. 

And circling back to the opening of this post: when I talk about slowing down I’m in large part talking about questioning the many things we are all taught to want in life - the very things that keep us running a marathon we don’t remember entering our name in. That is a very different thing than feeling like you can never stop working otherwise the bills won’t be paid, and I want to be sensitive to that. 

Voting day is around the corner. As I post this I am painfully aware of once again how strange it may be to read this post in just a few short day’s time. We are living through these huge stratospheric shifts in perspective and WAYS OF LIVING. 

I’m going to be back in this space more often again. I have so much more to say and share with all of you. I’d love to hear how you are doing in the comments below. I’m especially curious to hear how things may have changed for you since mid-March, when shelter in place orders were first given in the SF bay area. Or if things shifted for you at a different point these last few months, when was it and how are you feeling? 

Take care of yourselves, friends. And thank you for being here.

warmly,
Jeannine

Being an Artist in the time of Coronavirus

This is a blog post I’ve been wanting to write for a few weeks now, but not knowing where to start, I put it off. The current times are overwhelming and underwhelming all at the same time. I have found myself bored at moments - something I do not experience very often as there is almost always something I want to be working on (jewelry or otherwise.) But there is so much time right now I actually have time for boredom. And it’s not freaking me out as much as it used to. I think learning to sit with boredom and be a bit more comfortable with it is healthy, and something we don’t entertain much in our culture of “more more more.”

Arlo, lounging in the yard, helping me relax during these challenging times.

I also know though, that not everyone is experiencing an excess of time. For some, their time has been filled to the breaking point - with kids at home and working from home, or maybe you’re someone with a job deemed essential. I know there are many folks with less, not more time on their hands. 

It was interesting to read back over my last blog post that I wrote and posted here at the end of February. Things were already changing then, but we had not been issued shelter in place orders yet. Overall the pace and routines of our days were the familiar. In that blog post I wrote about the changes I was (and still am) working on within my business to structure it differently, to allow for more creativity, including closing most of my wholesale program, and curating and selling the Tangleweeds vintage collection. 

A lot of the goals I wrote about in that blog post actually align rather well with what is currently happening. Not all of it, but at least the part about putting my head down and simply doing the creative work with less distractions. Because of this, I initially thought that when shelter in place orders were made I’d be able to stride forward easily with my new goals (not the thrifting part though!) I had no idea how much the general anxiety of the times was going to seep into my being, into my day to day. I had no idea that sometimes time would move slow, sometimes it would feel like it was flying by. That focusing on new creative projects would be a challenge because I would feel like if I didn’t have the news on ALL OF THE TIME I would miss something important. That some days I wouldn’t mean to have the news on all day only to realize it was almost time to make dinner and all I had listened to was the news. With the beginning of each week I would reapply myself and try to be more “disciplined” only to end up in a state of high anxiety by Tuesday afternoon at the latest. After four weeks in a row of this, I have finally  backed off of all of the pressure I was putting on myself. 

I don’t want to prioritize my work over my well being and so I’m learning to change my expectations. I usually like to create a schedule for me week with each day outlined with the tasks and goals at hand. Now I’m doing this a little differently - I’m creating a very loose outline for my week, and when I sit down to write it I try to do it in a quiet and calm space and really get in touch with what I want to do with my time that week. I remind myself that I have the luxury of doing this right now as my work is running at a much slower pace. 

Which brings me to the number one point I keep making to myself, to others, and via social media and my newsletter as much as I can: I think our number one priority right now is doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves and take care of our loved ones. Please don’t worry about how productive you are at this time. My guess is that for most of you who may read this, your daily life is more complicated and fuller right now than you thought possible. I know for me it is. 

Which brings me back to my weekly outlines: after I create that outline for the week I remind myself that it’s not a goal list. That these are simply things I’d like to do, or the thought of working on makes me happy. It’s okay if some of the things don’t get crossed off the list. Of course I still have my fair share of daily work that must be done, and I make sure to make the time for these things. But I don’t want to look back on this time and wish I’d gone easier on myself. Because we are all grieving right now. Only gentleness is going to help us through all of this. 

Currently, being outside, whether that’s going for a walk, doing some gardening (most of my garden is containers, but there's lots I can do within these parameters and my plants have never been happier) or just sitting in the sunshine with one of my cats is really what I NEED every day to feel calm. I'm finding that I’m better off prioritizing these things daily than concerning myself with checking things off of a “to-do list.” In fact, right now, as I wrap up this blog post, I’m thinking I’ll grab the iced coffee out of the fridge that I made yesterday (I have a little hack for making an iced lavender latte) and go lounge in the sun with Arlo (my orange tabby.) Of course I have more things I’d like to get to today, but if I don’t that’s okay too. 

I’m gonna wrap on one final point: remember that however you’re feeling through all of this is okay. The tone that I’ve struck with this blog post may make it sound like I’m calm, composed and meditating a half hour every day, but that is far from the truth. Some days I’m a mess. Some days I’m great. Most days are somewhere in between.

Before you go, if you’d like, I’d love to hear how you’re doing in the comments below. Stay safe, stay healthy, and as one of my favorite musicians keeps saying in her Instagram posts: “stay mighty.”

all the love,
Jeannine

Everything is Connected

Today I felt called to sit down and write a blog post. Do you ever have one of those days where getting your work done feels like moving through sludge, but then your focus and your mind lands on that one thing that feels right for your current energy and mood? Writing a blog post was that one thing for me today. Doesn’t help that the sun is shinning beautifully outside and tempting me to throw ALL of the work out the window and just find a grassy spot to lie about and read in. . . 

But there will be time for all of that. Because I am learning how to make the time this year.

If you follow along with my Tangleweeds journey then you know that last year I celebrated 10 years of being in business. It was a milestone. One that I marked with a big series on Instagram (that you can still find in my stories highlights if you are so inclined) and lots of soul searching on my part. Shortly after wrapping up those celebrations major holiday prep began, and I didn’t have a lot of time to really start to implement the changes I had in mind. As 2020 rolled to a start though, I knew things had to shift if I was going to keep moving forward with Tangleweeds.

Which brings us to now. Changes are starting to happen. Brick by brick I am trying to disassemble the old house while building a new one. I am closing most of my wholesale program for the foreseeable future. (For my lovely customers that just means you'll need to make sure to buy from me either online or at events, because my work won’t be in very many shops for a while.) I am retiring many old designs all to make room for more creative work. Lots of one-of-a-kind and very limited edition pieces. Experiments in jewelry making that I hope to become more comfortable sharing with all of you over time. Because I find that I can be a bit protective of new work as it is percolating. And the vintage - yes, after attempting a debut of vintage clothing last year I will be officially rolling out a Tangleweeds vintage program this year. I already sell vintage alongside the handmade jewelry at the events I vend at that allow for it (many events are strictly handmade and at these events vintage is not allowed, unless it has been altered in some way), so this is simply an extension of what I’ve been doing on the side for a while.

In the vein of one of my classic Tangleweeds sayings “everything is connected” I will be playing with that idea - pulling the threads in places, adding new ones in others, stitching holes closed when necessary, and intentionally creating them when it feels right. I’ve spoken and written about it before, but Tangleweeds is my embodiment of that notion: that everything is connected. Naturally, when I started Tangleweeds I thought it would be the engine that propelled and helped to motivate many creative endeavors, not just jewelry making. I sort of lost that focus over the years though, and with my slow shifts and change-making this year, I hope to start to bring that idea of everything is connected back to the center. I can’t say with 100% certainty that I’ll be releasing any sort of handmade collection that isn’t jewelry any time soon - but there will most definitely be more creative exploration in the realm of jewelry, as I mentioned above, and with time, some new art to share with the world as well.

I’ll also be sharing more of my regular ‘ol life, interests, and behind the scenes stuff with my newsletter subscribers as I embrace these changes. I LOVE my subscribers because I think, more than anyone who only knows me through social media, they embrace the whole person that I am. I send out some of my best writings and inspiration lists to this coveted list, and if you are so inclined, I invite you to sign up for my newsletter here. It’s super simple, I won’t sell your email to anyone, and you will have the appreciation from this jewelry artist from the tips of my toes to the top of my head =). 

Lastly, before I sign off for now, have a read of this blog post from the middle of last year. It is when I really was at a turning point with Tangleweeds, where the first inklings of change were beginning to make themselves known. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a beautiful week!

Let me tell you about the Tangleweeds back story

Good morning and happy Monday! It’s almost fall, right?! I’m feeling myself gravitating towards sweaters and boots, and looking forward to the colors changing in the trees. . . even if we probably do have a lot more summery weather ahead of us in the SF bay area.

With the changing of the seasons, I find myself thinking a lot about how things evolve - both practical and literal (like cleaning out my closets) and more metaphoric (like sweeping old and not-useful thought patterns out of my head.) From this thinking springs my thoughts about Tangleweeds and the direction I'm headed with my creative work..

When I started Tangleweeds ten years ago, I knew I wanted Tangleweeds to be my art - not just jewelry, but my way of communicating with people my way of seeing the world. I've always had a strong knowing that everything in this life is connected - both in ways we can see and understand and ways that are unknown and mysterious to us. When I dreamt up the name Tangleweeds it was as an embodiment of this idea - of the interconnectedness of all things. That's the more ephemeral part of the story behind Tangleweeds. 

Here's where it all relates (or connects) back to jewelry: The art of jewelry is as much about the connections you make between elements, be they metal, stone, ceramic, plastic, or any other material, as it is about the amazing design you dream up in your head. Because without the proper connections in jewelry your design is just going to fall apart. 

And without connections in life to people, animals, things, and places that we love life kind of doesn't feel right, or falls apart, if I'm to use the same language I just used to describe the art of making jewelry. Another way of putting it: life is an art-form just like making jewelry is an art-form. 

As I move forward with Tangleweeds this year and in the years to come I know that I want to explore this idea/metaphor/truth both in my current art (jewelry making) but also through my communication with you and others via my newsletter, social media, this blog, and in person at events. I also hope to explore other creative mediums. . . of which I’m not going to define in a concrete way. I’m interested in exploring new methods and developing new skills with jewelry making, but I am also interested in diving deeper into other creative interests as well. Because it's all connected, and one creative medium helps fuel the creativity that drives another form of expression. Additionally, I'm also taking a honest look at my business and really considering all the ways I can move towards a more green and sustainable business. (I almost wrote about this today - the siren call I'm currently hearing - that our planet desperately needs our love and what part I can play in all of it. I'll definitely explore these thoughts in future blog posts.) 

I hope some of  what I wrote about here resonated with you this Monday morning. And if you'd like to read a bit more about my Tangleweeds backstory, this archived newsletter is a great read about how I try to find the beauty in the everyday. 

Being Real

I’ve sort of accepted over the years that blogging super regularly is just not something I am naturally inclined towards making time for. And nowadays with all of the different social media platforms and an email newsletter to create and a podcast in the works I find that sometimes whole months slip by without a blog post being created. 

And that’s okay. I know that. But sometimes I think my body doesn’t know that. Or some part of my subconscious mind. Because I still feel guilt about not generating posts more often. 

I know we all deal with this sort of thing. Guilt around not meeting our own expectations. One thing that I told myself I would do this year was “let go of guilt.” This thought didn’t come after some long mediation session or from years of therapy, it just came from a very true part of myself that KNEW I needed to stop guilting myself over anything and everything. Trust you me, I can find a way to feel like something is my fault, or like I didn’t try hard enough quite easily. 

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Well, in the interest of transparency and where I’m hoping to be headed with Tangleweeds I want to be more honest about what it’s really like doing what I’m doing. Being a jewelry artist. Running my small handmade business. All of the behind the scenes stuff. I’m still, in many ways, fumbling my way through figuring out my goals for the next few years. I wrote about it in a post earlier this year, that after my back injury near the end of last year I knew I couldn’t keep working the way I’ve been working. I need more softness. I need more flexibility. I need more connection to my creativity and my art. I especially need more room to explore new ideas - like in-real-life workshops, online courses, and that podcast I mentioned. 

If you follow me on Instagram I’m sure you’ve noticed the shift. I’m jumping on to stories more often and sharing my true thoughts about my work/day/efforts. My most recent IGTV episode I really laid out how I’m feeling about the whole idea of a “brand” and how I intend to pivot with that in the weeks and months to come. (In short: more of me as the jewelry artist, and less of Tangleweeds as yet another flawless brand constantly selling to all of you.) 

In short, I hope this new direction speaks to you. Also, this is where YOU come in. What would YOU like to see more of from Tangleweeds? A certain sort of jewelry design? A certain type of stone? But more than just jewelry, would you like more behind-the-scenes posts? Or maybe you would love to see more easy jewelry tutorials on my IGTV? I’m interested in ANYTHING you may be thinking of, because as I move forward I’ll be looking towards not just the jewelry I am inspired to make but ALSO the content I’m inspired to create. 

I thank each and every one of you for following along on my Tangleweeds journey!

Looking Back Looking Forward

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. Before starting this post, I felt compelled to look over my posts form 2018. And one thing I noticed was last year found me struggling with finding better ways to work and better ways to balance life and work. I wrote about taking a 10-day staycation and explored my thoughts about the need for social media as a small business. Which naturally led to taking a social media fast for one month. I also shared with you my conflicted thoughts about where I live and my desire to settle somewhere else in the near future. It was a year full of challenges and growth - growth that could only come out of struggle. When I look back over these posts I know one thing that many of you don’t: most of last year I was working harder than I ever have and dancing with burnout in the process.

Last year could have only led me to where I am now. All of our choices are always taking us one step at a time to the next place we need to be. And last year was bound to throw something at me to slow me down:

Welcome in back problems like I’ve never had - sciatica pain, a herniated disc, tingling, numbness, pain so bad it takes an elephant’s worth of will power just to get out of bed in the morning.

I think one of the only reasons I can write about this in any way where I’m even remotely grateful for what I’m dealing with is because a few days ago it seems like I may have passed the worst of the pain. As I begin physical therapy I’m trying to reconfigure my life around a slower pace. Around a TRUE acceptance in my head that to be less busy is OKAY, that relaxation does not equal being lazy.

I always like to take some time at the beginning of a new year to write about what I hope to realize and bring into being in the new year AND what I would like to let go of. The things I wrote about this year are less things and more ways of thinking:

1. To be more accepting of what I am capable of doing in a given span of time (be that an hour, a day, a month, a year, heck, even a lifetime.)

2. To let go of guilt. Whether that’s guilt for taking time off or guilt because I actually do love my work and sometimes, when it feels right, I WANT to work all day (now, the caveat is, so long as I’m not overworking my body.) To realize that all of the pieces and parts are necessary and not anything to feel guilty about.

3. To run with the things that spark my excitement and imagination and let go of many of the things that drag me down.

4. To better embrace the “middle” and transitional times in life. Whether that’s when I’m in the middle of a work-related goal and don’t know when the dream will be realized, or just in the middle of a big closet clean out. I tend to be bad with “middle” energy. I’m all excited when I’m getting a project started and feel very proud once I’ve realized the goal/dream/clean closet, but overall I just end up trying to rush through the middle. The middle is where a lot of the good stuff is, and I know that when I’m rushing through it I’m missing a lot of life.

And so, I move forward, one foot in front of the other, seeing quite clearly that slowing down is the only REAL way to enact REAL change in my life.

This year is off to a bit of a muddled start. I had a tradeshow very early in the month, that I had to be prepared for. And so I put on my big girl pants and I got it done, even while dealing with an immense amount of pain. I will report: the show went well. And I can happily say there are some new stores that will be receiving Tangleweeds goods for their shop in the weeks to come. But as soon as that show was over I slowed the train down. I’ve mostly taken the last week off and it’s felt great. I even took some time to really clean up my workshop and it now feels like a space I am excited to (carefully) get back to work in. Maybe I’ll even offer up some more mini-tutorials on Instagram like I did last year.

Overall though, Tangleweeds isn’t going anywhere. There are some significant changes ahead, but given that I’m not quite sure how quickly things will happen around here for now, I’m not going to offer up any timelines.

What you can expect to see from Tangleweeds this year:

1. A remodel and pairing down of the online shop. Many designs will be discontinued and overall the shop will have a new, more shopper friendly look. (I will of course announce the re-model and design discontinuation with plenty of notice in case there’s something you’d like to get while you still can.)

2. A new series of limited edition pieces. These will be released on Instagram on a schedule that I have yet to set. I will announce all of this on IG as I refine this way of releasing designs.

3. A PODCAST!!!! I’m beyond excited about this idea. It’s my way of continuing to further the building of the handmade/maker/artisan community, especially as I consider moving out of the bay area this year.

4. More workshops. Definitely my Metalwork Made Easy class, along with some other ideas in the works.

5. A more paired down craft fair schedule. I most likely won’t do any events at all until April or May of this year. This is both to give my back time to heal and to focus on other areas of Tangleweeds.

6. A different focus on my newsletter - I want to grow the arm of Tangleweeds that is about finding the beauty in the everyday. And I want to share it with all of you!

That about wraps up my thoughts for 2019. I could write an equally long post reflecting on 2018, but I’ll just leave it at this: I realized a lot of my goals. Now the challenge: continuing that journey towards new goals while incorporating more mindfulness, more self-care, and heaps more “living in the moment” types of energy!!!

Tell me about your new year goals. Or conversely, how do you feel about the way 2018 went? I love the practice of looking back/looking forward.

A Social Media "Fast" + Lots of Insights ensue. . .

I’ve been on a self-imposed social media break since July 21st. For me that means I’m not engaging with or using Instagram or Facebook except when absolutely necessary. Trust me, in today’s day and age there are times when I HAVE to use social media - especially since I’m running a small business that at least partially relies on some social media use. Any other social media that I use is either so minimal it’s not a factor, or is simply me pushing content over from IG or FB. 

   at the Alameda Point Antiques fair earlier this year

So. I just checked the calendar and I see that it’s been a two week break so far. And all I can think is “It hasn’t been long enough.” My intention when I started this break was to go for a month. At this point, I don’t think a month long break will be a problem. I’m also not being strident or absolute about it. I plan to pop into both IG and FB tomorrow or Monday to post about this blogpost. I want you all to know what’s going on with me. I want to share my thoughts on this social media break as I’ve seen other folks do because I think that the insights I’ve gleaned are important.

It’s been, and this is without hyperbole or exaggeration, quite startling to see how much stepping away from social media engagement is changing things for me. (And two weeks in, all I can think is, “this is just the tip of the iceberg.”) My time feels more expansive. I am accomplishing what I want to in the course of a day more easily. I’m feeling more focused. I pick up books to read more often. I’m finding it easier to read a whole email from start to finish without going into “oh I’ll just skim it” mode. I am less distracted. 

Although I should probably stop right there. For while I am less distracted, this little experiment has shone a very bright light on one little yet big distraction: my phone. It beckons to me when it need not. I can be in the middle of a very good lunch, reading a very good book and I will need to “check my phone.” In the middle of conversations I have the urge. I will be at my workbench, in the middle of drilling holes in several handmade components and I’ll think “just need to check my email.” Do I need to check anything in these moments? Probably not. Almost certainly not. I’m starting to think that in many ways our phones are the newest addictive substance we’re consuming on a daily basis as a culture.

That is to say over the last two weeks, one things has become abundantly apparent: I want more of this using my phone less. I have no desire to go back to how I was doing things. I want to watch one of my favorite shows on Hulu or Netflix and not “distract” myself by checking IG every 5 minutes or so. I want to see and feel and hear and taste the details in my life again in a way I have stopped doing. I plan on taking my email app off of my phone. I don’t want to be able to check email unless I am at work or at home sitting in front of my laptop and intentionally sitting down to work. I will definitely return to social media engagement once my month-long break is over, but I plan to set guidelines for myself. I want to make it work for me. And I think, the minute it starts to feel like an addictive substance that I can’t live without, well, I think that will usher in another social media break. 

I know I just wrote about some unintentional social media breaks that I took earlier this summer in my last blog post. I’m almost certain that those small breaks helped fuel my desire for a longer break. Also a break that is taken while living my regular ‘ol day-to-day life. The other, smaller breaks, were both taken while I was on trips. (One work related and one mostly for fun.) I wanted to see what it would feel like to live my life, my as I already stated “regular ‘ol life”, that can sometimes get boring and sometimes feel like drudgery (honesty here). There’s so much to say here, it almost makes me cry with the profundity of it all. I need the boredom. I need the drudgery. It fuels my creativity. It fuels my drive. It gives me beautiful little moments where I’m able to slow down. 

Does anyone else ever feel really strange and sort of “buzzy” after a few too many minutes spent scrolling through IG? I’ve always felt like that afterwards. Spending time on social, unless I handle that time with great care and purposeful intention, always leaves me feeling drained. Disconnected. Spacey. What it hasn’t been is a moment to slow down. Usually, after “falling down the IG hole” I am appalled by how much time has gone by. My phone feels truly capable of stealing my time away. . . if I give it the power to. It’s like a cryptic, modern day fairytale. 

I think maybe the most sobering part of all of this is that we all know that we need these things: that we need boredom in our lives. That if we really want to be connected in conversation with someone we can’t “just check in” with our email during conversational lags. That if I actually want to enjoy my favorite show on Netflix I can’t interrupt the viewing every 5 to 10 minutes with a quick IG scroll. That if I want the colors in the sky to truly thrill me, the smell of the fresh baked pizza to actually intoxicate me, if I wan to sincerely lose myself in moments - in moments that add up to my life - to a lifetime, I have to be engaged most of the time. 

And I haven’t been. 

Now, this isn’t meant to put all of the blame on my social media use. I am human and therefore I am innately an expert at distracting myself from what is directly in front of me. But I want to change that. In that desire I believe lies the real root of my decision to take this social media break. I want to examine all of the ways I am taking myself out of the present moment, and I’d like to work towards putting myself back there. 

I used to think that the documenting of my life was adding to it. That it was putting more color and flavor into my day. When I think about the roots of it all (um, hello, My Space?) I do think that initially it did all ADD to my life. But the newness and the notoriety of it all has worn off. I’m seeking a more intentional and useful way of using social media; not one that has me falling too easily into comparison traps. And I’m seeking a more minimal and pared down way of using my phone.

Regarding some practical matters: to keep all of my Tangleweeds collectors, fans, friends and family up-to-date I’m going to make an effort to keep this website much more up-to-date. I know this year I have not always posted about my events on my Events page, and I certainly haven’t blogged much. But given that I haven’t decided to go 100% off the technological grid, I do want to make an effort to keep the folks who care about Tangleweeds informed. I suggest bookmarking my website as a way of staying up-to-date with my goings-ons (both professional and otherwise) if you like. I will also continue to send out at least monthly newsletters. If you prefer staying up-to-date that way you can sign up for my newsletter here.

A year ago I couldn’t have imagined doing this, but now that I am I’m so grateful I took the leap and made the decision to take a break from social media. It’s shinning a light on my life in ways I could have never anticipated. 

Lastly, I’m incredibly curious: what have been your experiences with social media use? The good the bad and the in-between. Have you ever taken a self-imposed break? If so, what did you get out of it? If you haven’t taken one, are you considering it? Leave a comment below if you like. 

Life’s a crazy journey and really just one big experiment if we all let it be that.

Thoughts on Social Media and Running a Business

I’m back! And only one month since my last post on this blog. Feels not-too-shabby ;-). How has everyone been?!

Social media and social media tools are such funny things. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I use these tools in my business and the rest of my life a lot lately. Honestly, it can be difficult balancing it and not getting sucked into 101 different social media channels. And then, those channels come up with ingenious new ways to hook you! (I’m looking at you right now, Instagram.)

this is what my home life looks like most days when I sit down to write 

I’m going to stop for a moment, before this starts to sound like a totally anti-social media blog post, which it’s not. I’m grateful to social media and the many doors it’s opened for me: from meeting fellow creatives, to gaining new wholesale accounts, to finding out about new and exciting arts and crafts festivals to sell at. It’s a fantastic resource, one that I want in my life.

Here comes the BUT. But, after I took two unintentional breaks from social media this year (for four days while I went to the Women’s Herbal Symposium and for 6 whole days while I was vending at the Kate Wolf Music Festival), I could clearly see how the less I engage with social media the less anxious I feel and the less I find myself falling into the sticky and icky comparison trap game. 

a nearly full moon at the Women's Herbal Symposium

Sometimes it can feel to me like there’s no middle ground with social media. Like it’s either abandon ship and go back to snail mail (j/k) or I’m all in, losing vast swaths of time everyday to mindlessly perusing beautiful IG feeds and the like. In light of my two “digital detoxes” and the light it shed on my social media use, I had to get really honest with myself about how I use it and how I want to use it. . . 

For now that’s going to look like this: Getting back to blogging, but mostly in this very organic, very journal-y type way, and continuing to share my day in pictures and stories on Instagram. I want to be intentional with my FB engagement, but for now I don’t think I’ll be producing any original content for that platform. And regarding my ideas about starting a You-Tube channel, as I had announced via IG stories a while back, I’m putting that on hold for now while I consider what that would look like and how I would fold that into my life in a way that feels good to me. In the meantime I’ll continue to post the occasional tutorial or “how-to” mini-segment in my IG stories. . . and maybe give IGTV a try. . . 

Well! I honestly didn’t realize I could write that much about my social media use. I think it’s tricky for all of us, even those of us who don’t need to engage with it for work and can more or less choose to simply set all social media use aside without any work-related anxieties. ’Tis the times we’re living in. If any of you feel called to leave your own thoughts/comments about your social media use and how you manage it all I’d love to hear them. Leave them in the comments below =). 

some OOAk River Rock earrings I made for the Kate Wolf Music Festival - these sold at the event, but I plan to make some more similar ones in the future

In the meantime I’ve got a mostly no-work weekend coming up! Woo-hoo. I’ll be headed to the San Mateo Gem Show to buy stones (yes, work related, but I LOVE it so much I can’t even call it work, or maybe I’m just that lucky to call it work?!). I’ll be headed over to the 40th street block party in Oakland after that. And then, who knows? Maybe I’ll check Renegade out on Sunday, maybe I’ll just have a lazy day at home with the cats on Sunday. What are your weekend plans?